Shopping Hangover, Gaming Layover

This year, I have spent more money shopping online during Black Friday week than I have any other year. A bunch of games, a PlayStation Classic I regret buying (it's a complete ripoff with an underwhelming selection of games), and other products that have provided no real improvement to my life. But hey, I like buying and collecting things.

In November, I completed Mother 3, the three Kirby's Dream Land games and Kirby Star Allies (Kirby games are easy, nostalgic, and relaxing), and Pokemon Let's Go Eevee. 40 hours to beat the game, complete another Pokedex, and beat Red in his latest incarnation. 5-10 hours was spent chain-catching Chanseys to level up my Mewtwo to 100, a mind-numbing process. I'm now tired of throwing Pokeballs.

Now, I've been playing Smash Ultimate for hours everyday; I've completed every game challenge save for the online ones (I don't want to pay $20 for a subpar online service), and, as of right now, I've have collected 1247/1299 of the game's Spirits. I'm a collector, after all. But, I'm so sad that they made Sheik so weak in this game.

My main goal right now is to keep getting better at Smash. I'll probably never be as good as professional players to participate in tournaments, but that's okay. I'm proud that I can at least 3-stock level 9 CPUs.

The end of the year is a time for reflection. It is almost 2019, and there are many things to look forward to, like Kingdom Hearts III. I want the Kingdom Hearts III Limited Edition PS4 Pro, but I don't know if I'll be able to get one; I think it sold out already. I wanted to buy the 500 Million Limited Edition PS4 Pro, but it sold out too quickly. It would be nice to have an Xbox One too, so I can finally play Halo, Rare Replay, and Gears of War.

I'm a staunch critic of consumerism and materialism despite my thoughts constantly returning to things that I want to buy. I've become aware of my cognitive dissonance and unhealthy addiction to buying products related to video games. For my new year's resolution, I wish to spend less money on video games. We'll see if I fail.

Earlier this year, I created a section in my gaming bucket list that included specific Nintendo titles that I wished to complete prior to Smash Ultimate's release. Included on this list were several old NES and Gameboy games I never got around to playing, Fire Emblem Path of Radiance and the Game & Watch Gallery games, among others. I'm glad I managed to play through most of them. There are still five Fire Emblem games (Radiant Dawn, Holy War, Thracia 776, Shadow Dragon, Shin Monsou No Nazo), a couple more Kirby games, Donkey Kong Country 3 (I managed to finally 100% DKC 2 though), and the Wario Land games that I have to get around to. I don't think I can ever beat the F-Zero games since they're so difficult. I also need to play more Animal Crossing. At least now Wii Fit is the only game whose character is represented in Smash Bros that I haven't played. I don't need to depend on a video game to motivate myself to exercise. I do need to motivate myself to exercise more, however.

Smash Ultimate is an amazing celebration of all things video games. The amount of games represented is overwhelming. I enjoy the faster gameplay, the numerous easter eggs and music tracks, and, most importantly, the fact that I can play as so many of my favorite video game characters from my favorite games. Smash is also the only fighting game I'm decent at.

I'll probably still be playing Smash everyday while I'm waiting for Kingdom Hearts III. Thirteen years of waiting; what's another month?

Bucket List

Right now, I'm playing Mother 3. Later this month, Pokemon Let's Go Eevee will likely hold me over until Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Then, I'll probably disappear and go into hiding for a while to play Smash. I don't know if I'll have time to play anything else this year; we'll see.


Kingdom Hearts III comes out in January. Thirteen years. That's how long I've been waiting for a true, proper sequel. Let me finally finish this stupid story.  

Red Dead Redemption II. I played the first one, and it was pretty fun. Great story. Tedious at times when traveling, but brilliant game overall. Red Dead Redemption II looks freakin' amazing.

All of Rockstar's other games. All the GTAs. Bully, L.A. Noire... 

Assassin's Creed Origins and Odyssey. I've completed all the other AC games, but I'm two years and two games behind at the moment. Why did Ubisoft have to release a new AC game every year? This is not a good idea. 

Bioshock. I'm ashamed that I haven't played Bioshock yet. Shame, shame, shame. 

Nier: Automata. Seems like a game specially made for me. Hack-and-slash, existentialism, and cyberpunk all wrapped into one package. 

The Witcher 1-3 and The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and Skyrim. I love fantasy and action role-playing games. Why haven't I played Witcher 3 and Skyrim yet? I'm worried about how much time they will require...

Other PS4 games - Horizon Zero Dawn, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir, No No Kuni II...

JRPGs - Xenogears, Vagrant Story, Chrono Cross, Suikoden I-II, Persona 3-5, Phantasy 1-4, The Last Story, Lost Odyssey, Blue Dragon, Bravely Default, Dragon Quest, Xenoblade Chronicles X and 2...

Dark Souls trilogy, Bloodborne, Nioh... I played a bit of the first Dark Souls and enjoyed it. I know I'll suffer and have fun with these games. 

Mass Effect 3. I finally played through the first two games earlier this year. I still need to play through 3 so I can finish the trilogy. 

Grim Fandango. Again, I'm ashamed that I haven't played this game yet. 

Shenmue I and II. More shame.

This is just part of my endless bucket list of video games that I need to play before I die. Many of these games have been on my list for seemingly forever. I feel bad. There are still a bunch of other Nintendo, Playstation, Xbox, and PC games on my list that I haven't included, spanning every console generation. I'm considering getting an Atari Flashback 9 Gold as well...

A gamer's journey never ends.

Nintendo: Love, Hate, and Neglect (Part 2)

My censure of Nintendo is not wholly based on how much money I've thrown away or how long I've had to wait to play a Zelda game. Over the years, I've gotten used to games getting delayed; such was the case with Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild. Delays don't surprise or bother me so much anymore.

All in all, Nintendo has been performing exceptionally well when it comes to sales and profits. Learning from their mistakes with the Wii U, Nintendo has found much success with their most recent console, the Switch, which serves as both a home and portable system (and a capable one at that). Personally, I thought the Wii U was a decent console with a few great first party games, but Nintendo failed to communicate its appeal and value effectively; to this day, many average consumers don't even know what the Wii U is or that it ever existed. Say "Wii U" and they'll think that you're talking about the Wii. The commercials for the Wii U really sucked ass too.

Despite my disparagement of the Wii, we cannot deny that it is Nintendo's best-selling home console to date at 101.63 million units. The Switch, only in its second year in the market, has already reached 22.86 million units. In comparison, lifetime sales of the Wii U stands at an underwhelming 13.56 million units, making the Wii U Nintendo's worst-selling console of all time (outside of the Virtual Boy and 64DD). Though I like the Wii U more than the Wii, sales-wise, the successor could not reach the same heights of its predecessor. Not even close.

Here's the thing about Nintendo: for every console generation following the SNES, Nintendo has always relied too heavily on their first-party titles while alienating third-party developers. The insistence on cartridges over CD-roms for the Nintendo 64 and the focus on motion controls while sacrificing graphical or HD capabilities for the Wii convinced developers that perhaps Sony or Microsoft provided more suitable platforms for the types of games they wanted to make. Recently, though, things have been changing with the Switch, with games like Doom, Skyrim, and Diablo III finding their way to the system. However, these are all games that have already been released prior on other consoles. Nonetheless, Switch has been a great console for indie titles and first-party exclusives (as always), but we'll have to wait and see whether Nintendo can maintain the Switch's momentum following the year's end.

Now, I must return to several other reasons why I sometimes hate Nintendo.

Virtual Console
Besides despising Nintendo for their poor grasp of supply-and-demand, resulting in people selling consoles and Amiibo for inflated prices on Ebay, I also hate the fact that Nintendo keeps trying to force people to buy the same games over and over again. I don't mean this in the sense of buying each new Mario game when they all essentially play the same. This is not a Call of Duty or Assassin's Creed situation. No, I mean actually re-buying the same, old games that we previously purchased.

When I buy an app from Apple's App store, I can proceed to download it on each of my Apple devices so long as I am logged in to my Apple ID. If I buy a PS One classic from the Playstation Store, I can play it on both my PS3 and PS Vita at no extra cost. In contrast, if I want to play an NES or SNES title on my 3DS, I have to repurchase the game despite already having it on my Wii U's Virtual Console. Having a Nintendo account that can track each of my purchases does nothing to alleviate this situation. Instead, Nintendo wants people to re-buy games they already own.

The Wii spent several years building an impressive Virtual Console library, spanning consoles such as the NES, SNES, Sega Master System, Sega Genesis, and Nintendo 64. Even games for the TurboGrafx-16 PC Engine, Neo Geo, Commodore 64, and MSX were added. For the Wii U, Nintendo allowed people to re-buy the games on the Wii U's Virtual Console at a discounted price ranging from $1-2. If someone wants to play the game on their 3DS, however, they have to re-buy the game entirely. GBA and DS games are available on the Wii U's Virtual Console but not the 3DS's. Brilliant logic.

Furthermore, the emulation quality for these games is nothing to write home about, and that's all it is: emulation. Nintendo's lack of a cross-platform structure for their Virtual Console, a structure that should allow people to simply buy a game just once and then be able to play it on any of their Nintendo devices supporting the software, is unforgivable. Nintendo also announced their discontinuation of the Virtual Console on the Switch, so none of our past purchases on the Wii, Wii U, or 3DS can carry over to the new console. Instead, we have to subscribe to Nintendo's online service to be able to play NES games on the Switch, games that we probably already own and have played through countless times.

At the same time, I suppose that with the NES and SNES Classic consoles, the need for a Virtual Console is arguably unnecessary. However, the NES and SNES Classic are still missing a lot of notable games that people might still want to play.

Why does Nintendo require us to re-buy games we already own?

And why the hell were GameCube games never released on the Virtual Console?

Online Gaming
Tis' a redundancy at this point: Nintendo really sucks when it comes to online gaming. They now charge $20 for what used to be a free service. For voice chat, they require us to use a phone app. Perfect example of how Nintendo can be out of touch, stupid, and impractical at times. 

But maybe it's not that bad? $20 is better than the $60 that Sony or Microsoft charge for online gaming. But Playstation Plus and Xbox Live Gold also offer amazing sales and free (often great) games on a monthly basis.

Nintendo offers... NES games, and the ability to pay another $60 for controllers that only work on NES games on the Switch... OK. 

Preying on Nostalgia
The NES and SNES Classic consoles have sold well because people are victims of nostalgia. People continue to buy and play Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon games for the same reason. Because Nintendo knows how easy it is to profit off of people's nostalgia, they charge $60 for NES-style controllers that can only be used for NES games on the Switch's Nintendo Online service. $60.

Nintendo recently released new Switch bundles for Smash Bros. Ultimate and Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee. Because I'm a dumb-ass, I purchased both of these limited edition/specially designed consoles in spite of already owning a Switch. The Switch was the only console I ever bought on release date. Soon I will have three. I'm a stupid idiot.

As a collector who made the conscious decision to buy these products, I really shouldn't complain. But that's $800 down the drain. My hopeless love for Nintendo's franchises, amplified by my nostalgia and fond memories playing Nintendo's games, has (mis)guided me into making ill-advised purchases because I love Smash Bros. and Pokemon enough to the point where I am willing to give up so much of my hard-earned money.

Nintendo, of course, primarily cares about money, like any other business or corporation. Collector's editions of games, specially designed consoles (I have 7 3DS/2DSes wtf), Amiibo, action figures, books (mainly limited edition guides and artbooks), and other collectibles compel me to waste my money on products that aren't worth their hefty price tags, all because of my love and stupidity. Isn't it natural for people pour money into the things they love? Isn't it cruel to take advantage of the fans by preying on them like this? That's how I feel: taken advantage of. My video game and shopping addiction helps fuel Nintendo's corporate greed.

Yet, despite being aware of this, I still continue to pay so much for Nintendo and other video game products. It's my own choice and fault for not quitting. 

Neglected Franchises
Nintendo has, for the most part, treated their main franchises with rightful respect. The best-selling ones, at least. Thankfully, each major title in the Mario, Zelda, Kirby, Fire Emblem, or Pokemon series is usually a quality game (or at least not a bad one). We also mustn't forget Animal Crossing and Donkey Kong Country. Undoubtedly, Nintendo is a pioneer and leader in the industry for quality game design. Nintendo has not devalued their characters or products in the ways that other companies (Hi Capcom/Konami/Square-Enix/Sega) have. However, Nintendo also has franchises that they have callously neglected.

Why hasn't Mother 3 been released outside of Japan? Where is the next F-Zero game? What happened to Ice Climbers or Kid Icarus? Will we get any more Punch Out, Pikmin, or Star Fox games? These are not Nintendo's priorities, evidently.

At the same time, sales dictate whether creating a new game is worth investing the necessary money and time. Had it not sold well, Fire Emblem: Awakening would likely have been the last game in the series. Since then, Fire Emblem has enjoyed a renaissance and resurgence (which is well-deserved I might add). On the other hand, Nintendo's insistence on gimmicky motion controls for Star Fox Zero, a likely factor contributing to its less-than-stellar reviews and sales, may have helped ensure that another Star Fox game won't be made in quite some time. Poor sales can lead to a franchise dying, being put on ice, or at the very least, being neglected for extended periods of time. As in any business, sales and profits dictate decision-making.

At least Metroid has regained support from Nintendo in the form of Metroid Prime 4 and Metroid: Samus Returns. But this comes many years following the poor sales performance (and terrible story) of Metroid: Other M. For a long while, it was clear that Metroid fans like me loved Metroid more than Nintendo did. For Other M, Nintendo didn't really want to make a new Metroid game, so they asked Team Ninja to do it, resulting in an average game at best (certainly not one of Metroid quality) and weak sales, and, at worst, a story that is sacrilegious and contradictory to the Samus we love and know. As a result, We had to wait six years for a new Metroid game. Nintendo even sent a cease-and-desist for the project AM2R (Another Metroid 2 Remake). The people who worked on AM2R loved Metroid, and, I will say it, made a better game than Nintendo did (don't get me wrong; I enjoyed Samus Returns, but AM2R was better). For a long period of time, Metroid was neglected by Nintendo, much to the chagrin of the fans.

How can you neglect Metroid? Metroid! Super Metroid, Metroid Zero Mission, Metroid Fusion, Metroid Prime 1, 2, and 3... all games on people's "best games of all time" lists! Shame on Nintendo. Will the combined releases of Samus Returns and Metroid Prime 4 help rectify the situation? Maybe, I don't know. We're still waiting on Metroid Prime 4, and we'll be waiting a little (or maybe a lot) longer.

Today, Nintendo of America still refuses to release Mother 3 on the Virtual Console. Oh, right, Virtual Console is dead now. It has been fourteen years since the last F-Zero game. The most love and exposure a lot of franchises and characters can get now is being featured in Smash Bros.

Nintendo is an inconsistent, oftentimes neglectful parent. Tons of love and attention for their best-performing children. Mario, you're number one! Zelda, you get second place! Pokemon, keep making us money!

Neglected fans and neglected children. This sums up the situation.

This is why there are times when I like Sony more.

Castlevania: Remembrance

Two days ago, Castlevania: Requiem, a collection of two of Castlevania's best games (Symphony of the Night and Rondo of Blood) was released. Or, re-released rather.

"Requiem" is a befitting title for Castlevania. Ever since the lukewarm reception to Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 (which I played through and liked, despite some questionable game design choices) back in 2014, Castlevania has, in many ways, died, with currently no signs of resurrecting. There has been no new game carrying the Castlevania title released since then. Konami, the owner of the Castlevania intellectual property, doesn't care about making video games anymore. It's all about pachinko machines and gambling for them now. Before I proceed into a diatribe of Konami's corruption and unethical practices (another time), I will simply say that Castlevania and Metal Gear Solid deserve far better than the treatment Konami has given their flagship franchises as of late.

Will Konami ever make another Castlevania game? Who knows. They've already made too many, resulting in product devaluation and oversaturation of games, problems that plagued Mega Man and, more recently, Telltale Games. Though, I suppose I shouldn't give up all hope. Mega Man has made a comeback of sorts recently, just in time for his 30th anniversary, and I once thought he was completely dead and done for, before Nintendo brought him back for Smash Bros. The recent re-releases of Symphony of the Night and Rondo of Blood, as well as the highly regarded Castlevania Netflix series (go watch it!) that, coincidentally, also released its second season two days ago, have helped Castlevania remain relevant for the time being. Furthermore, the inclusion of Simon and Richter Belmont in Smash Bros. Ultimate helps ensure that Castlevania will maintain representation in today's modern gaming climate. Like with Mega Man, Nintendo appears to be showing more love for Castlevania than Konami/Capcom has in recent years. All of these signs and recent releases could be sparks of a renewed flame, perhaps. Or, more likely, a candlelight vigil in remembrance of Castlevania's place in video game history.

But, in reality, Castlevania will never be forgotten. Its legacy of games is unquestionable. An entire gaming genre, "Metroidvania," resulted from the genius and tried-and-tested design elements (incorporating action/adventure, platforming, exploration, and character growth) from Super Metroid and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Personally, I believe that Super Metroid had a greater influence, but Symphony of the Night remains one of my favorite games. Super Metroid and Symphony of the Night - two of my favorite games that helped spawn more of my favorite games, including Cave Story, Shovel Knight, and Ori and the Blind Forest.

However, unlike Dracula, Castlevania is not immortal. Dracula's centennial resurrections have assured that the Belmonts' battle against evil always continued in every Castlevania game. This was the case, until recently, when Castlevania games ceased to be made anymore. "No one wants to play another 2D Castlevania game," some believed. Fewer wanted to play a 3D Castlevania game. There have been many battles against Dracula as a final boss (I counted 27 main Castlevania titles), and perhaps it is time for the franchise to finally be laid to rest. A true requiem, indeed.

But, this doesn't feel right. I am not lamenting Castlevania as I had in the past. Though in the past I have grieved for the deaths and disrespect given to Castlevania, Mega Man, and Metal Gear Solid by their own companies, I myself now feel... empowered... by a renewed passion and recollected remembrance...

Castlevania games will live on in remembrance. I can play them over and over again. Hell, there are still a few Castlevania games I haven't played yet. I just finished Rondo of Blood, almost a decade since I played Dracula X Chronicles on my PSP. It is time to play Symphony of the Night once again, one of the greatest and most influential games ever made. Tis' a game that revitalized the franchise and helped to establish a genre in gaming. Castlevania, in fact, was on the verge of becoming stale in the mid-90's after the Castlevania formula of fighting stiff movement and jump controls; whip-lashing skeletons, medusa heads, harpies, and other monsters; throwing crosses, axes, daggers, and holy water and feeling cool; and navigating through clock towers, ghost ships, and Dracula's castle all started to get old. Then, after three Gameboy Advance games and three more Nintendo DS games, all using the exact same Metroidvania formula as Symphony of the Night (add in some demon soul collecting and other character customization and weapons/spells options), Castlevania once again started to get old.

Old. The word my friend, also an avid gamer, used to describe Castlevania when I mentioned that Castlevania characters were joining Super Smash Bros. Old. How I feel now that I am entering the third decade of my life. Old. The fact that Dracula is almost 1000 years old in Castlevania.

Many things might seem or actually be old, but it's never too late to remember or renew one's love for something precious. To me, Castlevania is precious.

I love Gothic literature. I enjoyed reading Bram Stoker's Dracula and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Authors such as Goethe, Poe, Lord Byron, Coleridge, and Shelley helped establish the Gothic and Dark Romantic literary tradition through their riveting stories and poems. In 1986, the gothic tradition found its way into gaming in the form of Castlevania. Vampires, demons, magic, macabre, horror... Everything a person could want from a work of dark gothic art.

Castlevania may be dead, in a sense, but death is just the beginning. The death of his wife is what spurred Dracula to unleash his war on mankind, therefore providing impetus to defeat him while playing as a Belmont (or as Alucard, Dracula's alluring son). Playing old Castlevania games may be like reanimating an old corpse. Playing Castlevania games can be painful, and you will die a lot. But death is never permanent in Castlevania. Dracula cannot die, not completely, and neither will Castlevania, so long as we remember Castlevania's legacy and continue to play old Castlevania games.

Or, we can just play Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, once it comes out. Curse of the Moon was fun too. Castlevania, like Metal Gear Solid, had a good run. May they rest in peace. Go to hell, Konami.

Nintendo: Love and Hate Part 1

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. They might seem like polar opposite emotions, but their similarities cannot be denied. They are the most powerful emotions we can experience, fueled by passion. Love and hate are not words that we should throw around lightly, yet we do.

Power. Passion. These two words sum up Nintendo. By extension, and for me personally, I regard Nintendo with much love, and, at times, much hate. I've experienced a lifetime's worth of joy, memorable moments, and grievances, all thanks to Nintendo. As of right now at least, my love still outweighs the hate, I think, otherwise I wouldn't continue to buy Nintendo products or play Nintendo games.

Of course, we cannot forget that without Nintendo, the video game industry simply would not exist. After the fallout of the video game market crash of 1983 due to poor quality control, product devaluation, and disingenuous advertising, the general public became disenchanted with gaming and saw it as merely a fad. Newly released Atari games could be found in bargain bins or a Mexican landfill. The very notion of selling a new video game console in the U.S. in 1985 seemed like financial suicide. No one wanted to buy video games anymore.

That's why Nintendo advertised the Nintendo Entertainment System as a toy - not a gaming console, but an entertainment package that includes R.O.B. the toy robot. Nintendo also dedicated itself to quality control and carefully oversaw the types of games that were released on its console. They avoided the mistakes that Atari and video game publishers had made prior. Nintendo brought video games back to life when many believed such a feat was impossible.

Many people who grew up with the NES spent hours of their lives playing Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda. Thanks to Nintendo, video games did not die - they endured, continued to live on, and became our loving partners in life. In 1990, the Super Nintendo, arguably the greatest video game console ever made (other than the Playstation 2 of course), entered the world and defined my (and others') childhood. 1998 solidified my lifelong love for Nintendo when I got my hands on Pokémon Red and Blue and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I bought a GameCube solely to play Super Smash Bros. Melee, and it was worth it. Mario, Zelda, Pokémon, and Super Smash Bros. These games defined my formative years and have provided me with endless hours of joy, even to this day.

Fast forward to 2017, and we have the Nintendo Switch and Super Mario Odyssey and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, two of the greatest games ever made. Every year there is a new Pokemon game that I have to play. Today, it is 2018, and there is a little more than a month before Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is released. Nintendo's legacy and continued staying power are unquestionable.

However, having seen multiple generations of consoles come and go, I cannot withhold my criticisms, nor my hatred, of Nintendo's less admirable decisions and practices. I have willingly parted with much of my hard-earned money to purchase Nintendo products. Too much of my money, to be honest. But this was not the case between 2007 and 2010. Besides still being in school and not making any money, I experienced the first and greatest grievance from Nintendo in 2006. I then entered a four-year period during which I refused to give Nintendo my money, save on rare occasions. All I bought was one Zelda game, a DS Lite from eBay, and a couple Pokémon games. For all the other Nintendo games I wanted to play, I simply found other means (I won't say how, but it's not hard to guess).

2006 was the year that The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was released. I'd been wanting to play Twilight Princess, my most anticipated game, for so long. I wanted to play it so badly. It was set to release in November, but then, Nintendo decided to delay the GameCube version's release by a month since they wanted Twilight Princess to be a Wii launch title to help sell console units. So, I had to wait an extra month since I had no interest in buying a Wii at the time. 

I had been a Nintendo fanboy filled with blind devotion to the company up until the Wii released. Then, over the years, I began to realize that even Nintendo is not immune to greed and ill-informed decision-making practices.

I hate the Wii. Don't get me wrong: I love some of its games, such as Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime Trilogy, and Xenoblade Chronicles, and several others. I don't hate motion controls as a concept (though they're more of a gimmick), but I hated Nintendo's adamant insistence that motion controls were the only, or at least the preferred, way to go. Motion controls have come and gone, and no one really cares about them anymore, not even Nintendo.

Also, how many people sought desperately to purchase a Wii in 2006-2008, only to realize that it was sold out everywhere? How many people chose to buy a Wii on eBay for unfairly marked up prices due to the console's short supply? How many people played Wii Sports for a while, only to then leave their Wii consoles and Wiimotes laying around in their garages or closets to collect dust? This is how I see the Wii: an exemplar of Hamlet's quote "quintessence of dust," and money wasted. Sure, it was one of the best-selling consoles of all time, but it forced me to wait another month to play Zelda. Twilight Princess was meant to be a GameCube game, not a Wii game (and Link is supposed to be left-handed). My love for Zelda games is unconditional, but I cannot say the same for Nintendo. Petty? Perhaps. But I have yet to discuss my other grievances.

Nintendo has a track record of under-supplying stores with its products to create the illusory perception of high demand. Sometimes this was deliberate, as was the case with the Wii, and other times this was due to Nintendo's lack of foresight and underestimation of product demand. However, the roughly three-year period when the Wii was impossible to find in stores was simply unacceptable. More recently, Nintendo released small figurines known as "Amiibo" to serve as companion products (and cash grabbers) to their well-known gaming franchises. Earlier this year I completed my collection of all the Smash Bros. amiibo. Most of them I managed to purchase for retail price, but some of them required me to spend extra money on eBay due to their short supply. In another instance, I overpaid for my NES Classic (retail $60; I paid $180) since Nintendo themselves previously stated that they would not re-release the product. They lied. I'm glad that people today can easily purchase the NES Classic and SNES Classic for retail price without having to turn to eBay, but I wish Nintendo didn't lie to me. You don't lie to your loved ones.

But, I'm fully aware that even if I love Nintendo, they don't necessarily love me. That's the reality of the situation. They want my money. Why does Mario love collecting coins so much? Because he, and Nintendo, is a gold digger. And, even at times when I want to give Nintendo my money, I can't because their products are sold out, and I instead have to pay a scalper on eBay to obtain a product I unfathomably desire.

Consumers who are not dumb and who don't love Nintendo wouldn't fall for the trap of having to purchase so many Nintendo products simply for the sake of having them. Unfortunately, I'm a dumb consumer who loves Nintendo. I hate Nintendo, but I continue to give them, or occasionally scalpers, my money. Thus is the predicament of an abusive relationship. 

Rock On, Man: Why I Love Mega/Rockman

Mega Man games are tough. So is life. There have been times when a player feels that it is impossible to beat a level or boss, that the time they spent getting to the boss's gates is negated by quick and sudden defeats, or struggling to figure out the boss's weakness (unless the player already searched it up on the internet) causes them to forfeit several lives before discovering that they have not yet beaten the other boss, the one that provides the weapon they need to have a decent chance of beating this current boss...

I imagine that many people have played Mega Man games and simply gave up when they couldn't even beat one level. The challenge typically only increases as a player reaches the final stages of Wily's castle. The difficulty can easily deter people and cause them to quit. One of the bosses is usually designed to be easily beatable enough through Mega Man's primary weapon, the Mega Buster, but trying to beat the later bosses without their weaknesses can prove daunting. I'm sure some can pull this off, but for most players using the bosses' weaknesses is the way to go. Rock, paper, scissors.

Simply reaching the bosses can be hard enough. Quick Man's stage in Mega Man 2 has multiple instant-death lasers that can be extremely difficult, especially for new players, to avoid without Flash Man's Time Stopper weapon (which, as the name suggests, freezes time). But that weapon's ammunition is best saved for when actually fighting Quick Man, unless one has the skill to defeat Quick Man with the Mega Buster. Even then, on "difficult" mode (which is "normal" for the Japanese version of Rockman 2), Time Stopper only depletes half of Quick Man's health.

Of course, difficult challenges are meant to be overcome. I used to not be able to get past the first of the four final stages in Mega Man X. I hadn't yet found all the power ups, particularly the armor that halves the damage X receives. However, with each new discovery, whether it be a new item, upgrade, weapon or strategy, and each failed attempt at beating a tough level or boss, the player improves, evolves, and adapts, which eventually culminates in the final boss's defeat and the game's completion...

Level by level, eventually the player manages to reach the final stages. After several (or many) tries, they can eventually reach the final boss. The final boss might be tough, and the player will likely see more than a few game over screens before they can finally beat the game. They might beat the final boss's first phase... only to realize that it has multiple forms...

If Shakespeare believed that "All the world's a stage, / And all the men and women merely players;" then the same lines can apply to the comparison between life and video games. Mega Man games, much like life, present players with obstacles one after the other. Every time players overcome one challenge, another tougher challenge awaits them. It can be easy to feel discouraged, but we must always remember that it is through failure, or rather, learning through our failures and mistakes, that we ultimately attain, as well as appreciate, the success we find after persevering through tough challenges. This applies to both life and video games.

This is what Mega Man teaches us: how to persevere and overcome hardships. What seems impossible at first will eventually become feasible, and then perhaps even easy. All it takes is time, practice, and effort. Such is the case with anything in life. The Chinese call this process of achievement and refinement of one's skills through hard work and effort 功夫, or gōngfu. In psychology, the concept of growth mindset is embodied through grit and determination as one treats his or her failures as opportunities to learn and improve.

Mega Man is about growth and perseverance. Mega Man is noble and adorable. Mega Man represents multiple generations of gamers who put in the time and work to get good.

Capcom might not love Mega Man that much. Mega Man should be Capcom's mascot and VIP, not Ryu, much like what Mario is to Nintendo and Sonic to Sega. Unfortunately and tragically, Capcom has devalued Mega Man by releasing too many Mega Man games within too short of a time period (with few refinements) as a means of quick cash grabs. Ironically (or logically if one applies common sense), this has resulted in the later Mega Man games not finding as much success with sales, and eight years' passing since our last Mega Man game. Six games on the NES. Eight Mega Man X games, with only three (arguably four) being games of quality. Too many Battle Network games. Not enough Legends games. I haven't played Star Force. Apparently they're not that good. The Mega Man Zero games are pretty good though.

Thank you Capcom for cancelling Mega Man Legends 3. Thank you for blaming the "lack of fan support" for its cancellation and for going out of your way to discourage and disappoint Mega Man fans. But, sarcasm aside, thank you for bringing Mega Man back to life.

I once thought that Mega Man had died, with zero lives left. His last game (Mega Man 10) released in 2010, and it was quite enjoyable. It took some time, but I eventually came to terms with Mega Man's death. There wasn't as much grieving as one might have guessed. No tears were shed, for I had found peace. Mega Man had a good run. It would have been nice if he were still alive though. Then he appeared in Smash Bros., and I saw that Nintendo gave Mega Man more love through his inclusion in Smash than Capcom had in perhaps two decades.

Then they announced Mega Man 11. I beat it the day after it released. Is there new hope for Mega Man?

I think so. Mega Man 11 was alright, not bad, pretty good perhaps. Mega Man will live on. Maybe Capcom will finish Mega Man Legends 3. Maybe I shouldn't hope for too much.

I also collect a lot of Mega Man merchandise. Check it out:

My container for Mega Man memorabilia, with some of my more recent purchases on top.

Mega Man X and Mega Man 2 30th Anniversary Classic Cartridges by iam8bit ($100 each)

 I'm afraid of opening the boxes...

 Mega Man 11 Collector's Edition Guide (retail $40)

 Mega Man Zero Official Complete Works (retails $35, currently goes for $300 on Amazon) and Mega Man & Mega Man X Official Complete Works 25th Anniversary (retails $60)

Mega Man Limited Edition Headphones (retails $44; couldn't get the price sticker off successfully...)

Mega Man Buster Replica (retails $40; currently sold out)

Zero Figures (SH Figures $40,D-Arts Black Zero $100+ on Ebay)

I love Zero.

Mega Man and Proto Man Kotobukiya Plastic Model Kits ($30-50)

Mega Man Deluxe Statue and E Tank (retails $130)

Mega Man Legacy Collection for 3DS with Gold Mega Man Amiibo (retails $50) 

Mega Man 11 Amiibo Edition (retails $60) 

Mega Man Schematic T-Shirt from Hot Topic ($20)

And then of course, here are the games.

For my closing remarks, Zero is my second favorite video game character, right after Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid. I love X too. I'll write character analyses of both X and Zero in the future. I'm in the process of uploading my blind playthrough of Mega Man 11. The game has left me wanting more.

I love Mega Man games so much that I went out of my way to earn MMH/MEH ranks for both X and Zero in Mega Man X5, twice. I also maintained S rank throughout every Mega Man Zero game, also twice. Only a select few understand what this entails. I've played through every Mega Man game multiple times. Commitment like this is what separates true fans and gamers from filthy casuals.

Without a doubt, I love Mega Man. Rockman rocks.

Octopath Traveler and JRPGs

In September, I finally found the time to play through Octopath Traveler, a Japanese role-playing game (JRPG) recently released by Square Enix back in July. I used to play a lot of JRPGs, having played through every main entry in the Final Fantasy and Pokemon series. One of my favorite games is Xenoblade Chronicles, which was released back in 2012. That game in particular renewed my faith in the genre, which I felt became stale as I became older.

Nonetheless, traditional JRPGs still hold a near and dear place in my heart. With games like Persona 5 and Dragon Quest XI carrying on the JRPG legacy and garnering critical acclaim, perhaps it is too soon to say that JRPGs have become obsolete.

Octopath Traveler, as many have already noted, is very reminiscent of the old-school 2D JRPGs that were released on the Super Nintendo. Final Fantasy VI and Chrono Trigger are oft remembered as the greatest games of all time (they're also a couple of my favorite games). Like many others, these games left indelible impressions on my mind when I played through them when I was younger. Clearly, Square Enix took inspiration from these classics (and many other games like them), which arguably perfected the JRPG formula.

The common elements of a JRPG are easily recognizable for anyone who has played them. Turn-based battles, random encounters (usually), experience points and a leveling system, unique characters and storylines, and a lot of grinding...

Octopath Traveler incorporates all of these elements and embraces a 2.5D aesthetic with pixelated sprites and artwork that make the game look like a gorgeous pop-up book. The special "Wayfarer's Edition," which I of course had to buy, also includes a pop-up book, which further illustrates this point. The graphics of this game instantly remind players of good ol' days of Snes JRPGs.

In truth, the gameplay in JRPGs can quickly become repetitive and monotonous. Attack, attack, heal, use magic or special skill, attack, attack, heal... Usually it's not necessarily the gameplay that draws people in: it's the stories.

Does Octopath Traveler tell an amazing story like many of its predecessors?

The story's alright.

Now, I really like the characters in Octopath Traveler. A few of them struck me as bland or generic at first, but as I witnessed their stories develop, I began taking a liking to them. Compared to other JRPGs that often include convoluted (but very interesting) stories involving evil empires, gods, and end-of-the-world scenarios, Octopath Traveler instead chooses to focus on more down-to-earth stories for each of the eight characters that explore various themes such as the dangers of pursuing knowledge (Cyrus), self-discovery through adventure (Tressa), facing one's past (Olberic), unconditional love for family (Ophelia), the consequences of revenge (Primrose), regaining the ability to trust others after betrayal (Therion), loyalty to one's mentor (H'aanit), and the difficulties of choosing between life and death (Alfyn). Of course, should the player decide to complete the post-game content, they can fight an evil god as the final boss. Beating this guy took me four tries and I think almost ten hours. Oh yeah, JRPGs can be pretty tough, and I have learned several lessons of patience from playing them throughout the years.

For the most part, in Octopath Traveler, each character's story arc is stand-alone. There are some loose ends and connections between various characters that are revealed in the optional final dungeon, but the four chapters of a character's story generally just concentrate on that particular character.

Of the eight stories in Octopath Traveler, I personally found Alfyn's to be to most memorable. Though, I also liked the conclusions to Cyrus' and Tressa's stories.

We are now treading into spoiler territory, so if the reader doesn't like spoilers, then they should stop reading until after they've finished the game.





-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------






I need to provide some commentary on Alfyn's story in particular. Initially, I thought that he was the most bland character of the eight. Then, I soon found his story to be the most compelling.

As an apothecary (the equivalent to a traveling doctor in Octopath Traveler's world), Alfyn travels from town to town to see if there is anyone suffering from illness or in need of treatment.

In chapter 2, Alfyn comes across another apothecary named Vanessa. Turns out she deliberately planted a disease in a town in order to force the citizens to have to buy her medicine for exorbitant amounts of money. Also, she doesn't treat a poor young girl simply because her mother doesn't have enough money (and this apothecary is the reason the young girl became sick in the first place). Ironically, the girl's mother chastises Alfyn at first because she assumes that Vanessa is a better apothecary, then Vanessa refuses to save the daughter's life because the mother cannot afford the medicine. Desperate, the mother begins to lose hope, thinking that her daughter will die because of their poverty. It's almost like the U.S. healthcare system, except doctors aren't making their patients sick on purpose. Thankfully, Alfyn saves the day and confronts this unethical, greedy apothecary, bringing an end to her schemes and procuring the medicine for the mother's daughter. Postconventional morality at its finest.

Chapters 3 and 4 are when things get heavy, for Alfyn's story can be pretty dark at times. A man named Miguel, whose life Alfyn saves, ends up lying to Alfyn and taking advantage of his kindness. After being told that Miguel was a life "not worth saving" by Ogen, another and far more experienced apothecary, Alfyn still chooses to save Miguel's life, hoping to inspire him to start over and leave behind his life as a murderer and thief. Then Miguel kidnaps a young boy and threatens to kill him.

Great.

Now, I found this story fascinating because it addresses a moral dilemma that I find incredibly complex. How does one go about deciding who should live and who should die? Should anyone have this authority? If given a choice of whether to save the life of an immoral human being, should we save them or let them die? According to Ogen, some lives are simply not worth saving. The logic is that if one saves the life of a murderer, this will lead to the deaths and suffering of others. As Ogen suggests, we have to ask ourselves "what it truly means to save a man's life." Is every life worth saving? How do we determine whether someone is beyond saving?

Like Alfyn, I originally felt that Ogen was incredibly cold when he told Alfyn that Miguel's life was not worth saving. Yet, Miguel also made up a story about having to resort to thievery in order to support his family. We find out later that Miguel lied; he doesn't have a family. Of course, how could Alfyn have known? Is he simply too kind and gullible for his own good? Perhaps, but so am I.

After beating Miguel, Alfyn ultimately decides to not treat him a second time. Alfyn's entire ethos of treating others no matter what the circumstances begins to crumble, as he doubts himself and questions whether he can live up to his ideals and moral standards as an apothecary.

In chapter 4, Alfyn finds out that Ogen is dying due to disease. Ogen does not want to be treated and instead chooses to embrace his own death. In the past, Ogen's wife was murdered by a criminal whose life Ogen chose to save, much like how Alfyn chose to save Miguel's life. After coming home to the scene of his dead wife's body in a pool of blood, Ogen sought out the murderer and ended his life. Even though he killed Ogen's wife, this man had a family, and now this family was without a father. As such, Ogen concludes that his own life is one that is not worth saving, for he blames himself for his wife's death and regrets allowing his vengeance to consume him.

Which leads Alfyn to ask himself

Indeed, how does one go about fixing a busted soul? When one has experienced such tragedy, is death the better option? This is one of Shakespeare's favorite questions.

Instead of letting Ogen die, Alfyn chooses to save Ogen's life. This involves defeating a giant bird for an ingredient needed to make an elixir that can cure Ogen's malady. Despite constantly berating Alfyn to let him be, Ogen is eventually touched by Alfyn's selflessness and willingness to go so far to save a life, one that Ogen himself deemed "not worth saving."

Alfyn is correct. We aren't gods; we're simply human. My takeaway from Alfyn's story is that we need to keep on living and never give up on one another. Sure, there are plenty of terrible people in the world, but screw them.

Besides Alfyn's story, I also liked the lesson in Cyrus' story about how pursuing knowledge can be dangerous. Cyrus' story reminds of Frankenstein: Like Victor Frankenstein (and myself in some ways), Cyrus has an insatiable thirst for knowledge. However, unlike Victor, Cyrus truly understands the need for responsibility and caution when one has so much power/knowledge. He also knows what it means to be a good teacher.

To every bad teacher out there in the world, listen to Cyrus. Learn to teach better.

Anyways, I really enjoyed playing Octopath Traveler. I invested 80 hours into completing not only the main story, but all the side quests in addition to defeating the secret final boss. This game reminded me of why I fell in love with JRPGs in the first place so many years ago, and it gave me hope that traditional JRPGs still have a place in today's gaming world. Sure, they can be a bit boring and repetitive at times, but their stories are certainly worth the time. They're also very pretty.

Now here's my gallery of each character's ending artwork.

After four attempts and nearly ten hours, I finally managed to beat the final boss. Here's my proof:

Octopath Traveler is a lovely game. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and the game serves as a reminder of how and why JRPGs have been so great throughout the years.

Remembering Telltale Games

Most people love video games for their engaging and/or addictive gameplay. Besides this, I love them for the stories they tell.

Telltale Games is known for their narrative-style games that play like interactive movies in which the decisions that players make impact later outcomes in the stories. They brought back the point-and-click adventure style games from the 90's, modernizing them and skillfully weaving together engrossing stories filled with depth, nuance, and substance. I could tell from their games' characters, art direction, and well-written scripts that an immense amount of time, hard work, and love went into their games.

Which is why it is all the more shocking and tragic that this past week, Telltale Games officially announced that they will be closing down. How could this happen? It seemed like every year they were releasing new games in the Telltale-style format that many gamers love and have grown accustomed to, ever since the first season of The Walking Dead sold millions of copies and garnered multiple game of the year awards in 2012. Even the employees were given less than a day's notice with no severance, thus leading to a class-action lawsuit against the now, or soon-to-be, former game developer.

I did not see this coming. Apparently, not even most of the employees did either.  

Telltale Games found immense success with their first breakout game The Walking Dead, but following The Walking Dead's release, the company took on way too many projects over the span of six years: four total seasons of The Walking Dead (though only three are complete, and who knows what will happen to the final season following its cancellation), The Wolf Among Us, Tales from the Borderlands, Game of Thrones, Minecraft: Story Mode, Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy...

And with the swift closure of the company, many questions remain as to how such a prolific game developer could have found itself in such a dire situation. To simply say to your employees "We're closing; bye bye see ya; you have 30 minutes to leave. Oh tomorrow you have three hours to come back and get your things" is just... wtf?

This is the treatment that the creators of some of the most compelling story-driven games receive for their years of hard work and their loyalty to a company whose downfall can be attributed to poor leadership and management. Telltale Games forced their employees to work excessive hours ranging between 50-80 hours a week. That's insane but unfortunately quite common in the video game industry. And no matter how good Telltale Games' stories were, no matter how much love, effort, and overtime hours went into creating these games, they did not sell well. How could they? Every game was pretty much the same as the first in the eyes of most consumers, and there were simply way too many Telltale games to keep track of. Even if the stories were thoughtful, the gameplay mechanics failed to evolve due to the lack of time the creators had. A game developer cannot simply keep releasing the same game, even if the story is different, with the same mechanics and continue to expect good sales, unless of course the company is Activision, Ubisoft, 2K, or Nintendo. Even then, there are always efforts to further evolve and refine the gameplay for at least two, no, maybe one, of these companies.

This is what happens when a company grows too quickly and attempts to take on way too many projects within a short time span. Instead of spacing out their projects, or actually allow time to refine/evolve their gameplay mechanics versus simply rehashing the same package (every Telltale game essentially plays the same), the mentality was simply to keep churning out more of the same games, despite their great stories, and somehow expect them to sell well. This is what happens when a company devalues its own products. I believe the company executives failed to realize that when they devalue their products to such an extent by constantly having "new" releases of the same old game, to the point when gamers quickly develop the perception that every game is the same as the one they played, and perhaps loved, in 2012, then of course fewer and fewer people will continue to buy the same old game. There are exceptions, of course, such as Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed, 2K's sports games, and Pokemon, but releasing on average 2-3 games a year, which, again, are all pretty much the same, is still a bit much.

I sympathize with the developers, the creators, artists, and writers who put their hearts and souls into telling the best tales they could given the unreasonable deadlines and persistent pressure of "this game has to sell well." It is truly unfortunate that the games did not sell well, which led to Telltale Games' demise, but the truth is that the onus does not lie on the creators. They told captivating stories and made decent games. Their games' average metacritic score is 75, and if you understand metacritic scores, then you know that this is pretty good.

Making video games is difficult; this much I understand. I've seen stories in video games that are so well-written that they outclass many of the mundane, uninspired plots found in today's modern novels. Unfortunately, a good story alone is not the only requirement, and sometimes not even an important factor, for a game to sell well.

I appreciate all of the hard work that Telltale Games' developers put into crafting powerful narratives that deeply dive into character development and the process of making tough decisions (and experiencing the consequences). For The Walking Dead, I will always remember Clementine's growth from an innocent (and adorable) young girl into a hardened, disillusioned, yet nonetheless compassionate young adult, as well as the heart-wrenching feeling we experienced when we (spoiler warning) saw Lee die at the conclusion to season one. I enjoyed the creativity poured into Batman: The Telltale Series and how their depictions of Joker, Penguin, Two-Face, Catwoman, and Bruce Wayne himself are some of the best, if not the best takes on the characters in recent years.

Following the news of Telltale Games' closure, I realize how over the years, I have bought many of their games but haven't found the time to actually play through them completely. Though I have watched playthroughs of these games online, I think it's time for me to actually complete them myself.

Thank you to all of the creators, artists, and storytellers who used to work at Telltale games. Thank you for further proving to the world that video games are, arguably, the best medium for telling engaging and thought-provoking stories that help shed light on what and who we are as human beings.

Episode 1 for The Walking Dead and Batman: The Telltale Series are free on Google Play and the Apple App Store. Check them out if you're interested. But don't buy them; clearly the money won't be going to the actual creators since they were all unceremoniously released. I'm glad that others in the industry have reached out to Telltale Games' former employees, especially when their own former employer lacked the decency, foresight, and morality to treat the people who brought them success in the first place with some respect.

Is Gaming the Problem? Or is it the Solution? (Part 2)

There is a likelihood that had WHO's "gaming disorder" label existed fifteen years ago, I would have been diagnosed with having this disorder. Between the ages of fifteen and twenty, I became addicted to Final Fantasy XI, a massively multiplayer online game that cost $12.95 a month to play. I poured in nearly seven years of my life into that game. My mother thought my addiction to the game was the main reason I wanted to stop going to school.

At the time, she misunderstood my situation. I suffered from extreme social anxiety during my freshman year of high school. For some strange reason, during my transitions between public and private school, I became paranoid, depressed, and fearful of how I was perceived by others, specifically in how I performed in any given class. Now, I have always been a very self-conscious individual, but my anxiety spiraled out of control during high school. Oftentimes, I thought the entire world was judging me, belittling me. I exemplified the spotlight effect, perhaps even agoraphobia. I realize this now as an adult, but as an irrational and emotive teenager, I felt like an outcast, desperate for approval, yet freaking out at the possibility of disappointing everyone, and most of all, myself. The school work wasn't difficult. The teachers and school staff were all incredibly kind, understanding, and supportive. The problem came from within me, a genetic disposition even, a tendency to worry excessively (probably from the father) and heightened emotional reactivity (mother), exacerbated by unpredictable, mundane, yet self-esteem and confidence shattering environmental triggers.

All of this happened in ninth grade, before Final Fantasy XI was even released in the U.S. I didn't start playing the game until tenth grade. I was never officially diagnosed with any specific disorder. My counselor suspected depression, which may have been the case. I could call it social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder...

But I'm not a psychiatrist. Should I have seen one? Maybe, but I don't think doing so would have helped. I managed to pull through, eventually, and today I live through my days well enough. My sophomore year of high school seemed better than my freshman year, after I had switched back to attending public school, but I was still skipping a lot of school, claiming illness, when in fact I was just bored. Bored and lazy. Eventually, I simply stopped caring about school altogether. Whether consciously or subconsciously, I subscribed to the quote often attributed to Mark Twain: "Never let schooling interfere with your education." I took the sentiment too literally. I felt that what I was learning in school was useless and that my education as a student of life was being impeded. I was very solipsistic, perhaps even misguided, for I didn't see the time or efforts I was spending in school amounting to anything. Factor in my difficulties with socializing and maintaining friendships, and the result is little incentive to continue attending school.

But of course, I was a short-sighted and naive teenager, one who had not entirely overcome his issues with anger, depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. We all go through these stages in life. 

Disenchanted, I started playing Final Fantasy XI, and around that time, I decided that I wanted to complete my high school education through independent study/homeschooling. I had already done independent study for the majority of my freshmen year anyways.      

My parents thought that games were the problem, and the cause, if you will, for my refusal to attend school. Even during my freshman year, they thought this was case. They failed to realize that video games were my therapy.

A lot of transformations happened within me during this time. I could relate to the existential crises faced by Final Fantasy and other video game characters I observed. Besides video games, I read Shakespeare's Hamlet voluntarily and became hooked, and I turned to philosophy and Bruce Lee's writings to rediscover meaning in my life. In many ways, this became my education. Sure, I played a lot of video games, but video games were not the cause of my problems. They did not make me feel anxious or depressed. Instead, the situation was quite the opposite.

We always have to look at things holistically. I can say that I was addicted to Final Fantasy XI for many years, but the game also taught me how to socialize with others, fulfill roles as a team leader and supporter, carefully plan, research, and implement action plans to overcome obstacles, and, most of all, have some of the most memorable and fulfilling shared experiences with the friends I had made. I regret not having kept in touch with them after I stopped playing.

When I was 17 and done with high school, my father became upset when he noticed that I started playing Final Fantasy XI after a months-long break (I've taken many breaks from FFXI throughout the years I've played it). He was nervous and angry that I wasn't taking the steps to pursue post-secondary education. Honestly, at the time, I wasn't ready yet. Although one of my main regrets in life is that I put off going to college for a couple years, it was also through this process that I managed to figure my shit out. I understand that this may not always be the case for other people.

I understand that it's so easy to get lost in a game, to forget about everything else that is important in life. Forgetting to sleep, eat, even live. However, I still slept, even if my sleeping times were abnormal, and I still ate. I was living my life in my own quirky, unproductive way. I also conversed with friends extensively, discovered and adjusted my outlook on life, and found the motivation and mental set to overcome my anxieties and depression.

You could say that I had gaming disorder, but then you would ultimately fail to see the bigger picture. Today, I stay away from MMOs. I refuse to play Final Fantasy XIV, the only Final Fantasy game I have not played, because it is an MMO. As a working adult now, ain't nobody got time for that. Yet, in spite of all the time wasted and frustrations that I experienced due to playing FFXI, I'm still grateful for the fond memories. I still wish I used my time for something more productive, though, like maybe graduate college earlier. Oh well. If I had done things differently, then I wouldn't be who I am today, and I like who I am today, usually. All's well that ends well, as Shakespeare would say.

Now, there are people who are legitimately addicted to video games to the point where it does result in their lives becoming consumed, and even destroyed, by their inability to disengage from their screens. People can become addicted to anything. Social media, television, pornography, cartoons, you name it. We have to ask ourselves, however, how helpful is it to implement a label such as gaming disorder. What happens if it is misused, misapplied, or misdiagnosed? For this will certainly happen, thanks to the media, worried parents, and presumed experts who are not really experts, all blinded by their ignorance and inexperience.

Consider how many people play games today. Statista estimates that 912 million people in Asia and 200 million in North America play video games simultaneously. For how many of these gamers could the label of "gaming disorder" benefit? How many could be hurt through the existence of such a label? In my honest opinion, I doubt that the existence and controversy of gaming disorder will really affect most gamers nor the video game industry to a great extent.

However, I also worry that so many "mental health experts" are failing to address the real, underlying problems. Perhaps gaming disorder is a helpful term in Asia, where people often spend too much of their time playing PUBG or other games that have no end goal in sight. I don't like these types of games, which is why I stopped playing FFXI. I realized that I was spending too much time and money without having much to show for it. At the same time, I don't think these mental health experts ever pause to wonder exactly why so many people play these types of games, thus increasing their chances of becoming addicted and perhaps having gaming disorder. Have they ever paid attention to just how strict and competitive the education system is in Asian countries, as well as the increasing competition here in the U.S.? How often do high school students become jaded, after coming to the conclusion that most of what they learn in school seems useless? Are these questions off topic? No. Look at the big picture. We must consider that for many addicted gamers, perhaps they feel that gaming is the only way they can escape the stress of their everyday lives. I think that people play games to escape reality, and when they are unable to cope with reality - or they make a decision to stay in and concentrate more on the virtual world rather than the real world - then that is when they may have a problem and need help.

However, there are no clear suggestions for how we can help these individuals. What are the effective forms of treatment? Are there any? Take away the games, they might say. But what will we do when extreme, but plausible, scenarios arise, when there are threats of suicide for taking away a person's games, or when people turn to other addictions like drugs or gambling in their attempts to fill the void within their hearts? Whether this is a slippery slope or possible outcome, it can be difficult to say. Chances are that the gaming addiction is merely a symptom, not a cause, of a much larger problem.

All in all, I don't think the gaming disorder label was well thought out.

Although the WHO indicates that the decision to classify gaming disorder "is based on reviews of available evidence and reflects a consensus of experts from different disciplines and geographical regions that were involved in the process of technical consultations undertaken by WHO," I don't see any references to who these experts are or which studies support the usage of such a label. When I can find the time, I would like to carefully review these studies and utilize my own expertise when I scrutinize them.

You cannot truly understand what it's like to suffer from clinical depression, an anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, drug addiction, or any type of mental disorder unless you've experienced it yourself. You cannot truly empathize with someone who has attempted or committed suicide unless you once found yourself in the depths of such despair. People always, however, find ways to label and judge those they consider "abnormal," those who seem "different from the norm," and they like to call themselves "experts." Whether these people are truly experts remains to be seen.

What is normalcy? What is a disorder? Most importantly, what are the potential ramifications, both positive and negative, of implementing each new label? If I see more potential for harm than good, I cannot support such a decision. But I am still uncertain and ambivalent, for I'm aware that there are people with gaming addictions far worse than my own, to the point where their addictions can and do destroy their lives.

In college, I completed a research project regarding a culturally-bound syndrome of social withdrawal, in which sufferers are known as hikikomori or NEETs (not in employment, education, or training). One could argue that for many hikikomori/NEETs, gaming disorder could be related, for many of them depend on video games and/or the internet to escape from reality. However, once again, video games themselves are not the problem. For a large number of sufferers of social anxiety due to extreme academic/work related pressure, playing video games is an attempt to escape the harshness of reality and find solace.

If I argue that video games can be a treatment, at what point should it be considered a problem? If the root cause of the problem is anxiety, depression, stress, or anything not completely related to video games, then what approaches should we take to truly help individuals regain order, normalcy, and happiness in their lives? 

Video games are the solution to boredom, and I know that being a passionate gamer brings meaning to so many people's lives, including my own. I think my own experiences, knowledge, and ethos can allow me to confidently state that having the classification of "gaming disorder" is certainly not that helpful. Will your insurance cover your treatment for your gaming disorder?

Maybe, maybe not.

Now, let's end on a positive note. Video games are meant to be played for fun, and as much as I love video games, there is certainly more to life than just video games. Balance is important, for too much of anything can be harmful. We shouldn't strictly view video games as a problem nor a solution: video games are art, and video gaming is a hobby that we should simply enjoy in our free time. We must not let ourselves become too addicted to the point where we stop going to school or work. And, we always have to consider the other problems that are more pertinent than having a "gaming disorder" label, such as how to help people healthily cope with excessive stress, anxiety, or depression in their everyday lives.

Is Gaming the Problem? Or is it the Solution? Part 1

A month since my last post, and nearly two months since I had time to game consistently. Honestly, I started feeling antsy, irate even, about not having played my video games for quite some time. Not playing games makes me go crazy. Or, sometimes a break from video games is what I need. My gaming log and bucket list still include titles that I had originally planned to complete earlier in the year. Yet, there has been an annually recurring trend of my becoming exceptionally busy over the summer due to my teaching job, so I really shouldn't be surprised. Nonetheless, I got to play Smash Bros. with my students and Mario Kart with a co-worker on the last day of summer classes. That was fun.

I just finished playing through every Mega Man X game in the Legacy Collections. Of course, I earned platinum trophies for each collection. I finally got to play and complete Mega Man X8, though my playthroughs of the other seven games were essentially me aiming to recreate my 100% save files (with perfect hunter rankings for X5 and X6 [average games at best perhaps], but not X7 because X7 sucks) that I still have on my old PlayStation memory cards. I'm in the process of uploading my playthroughs of the Mega Man X games on my youtube channel:

I probably won't have entire playthroughs for X5 and on, however. The games sort of dip in quality after the first three. As much as I love Mega Man X, this fact I cannot deny.

Now, I wanted to address a topic that I have thought about extensively since January, and even prior before the official decision was made. Specifically, I am talking about World Health Organization's inclusion of "Gaming disorder" in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). WebMD  has a nice article that addresses several concerns that I share with a good number of mental health experts: the lack of research, inconclusive evidence, unclear methods of treatment, and the possibility of the label causing more harm than good. Apparently, the "mental health experts" who advocate use of the gaming disorder label may have failed to consider the research showing how video games can be used as therapy. DidYouKnowGaming put out a good video earlier this month that discusses the use of games in medicine:

Gaming is an escape, a hobby, a passion, and constant companion. And then, of course, there is the perspective that gaming can become a disorder.

I follow topics like gaming violence, gaming addiction, and people in China dropping dead in internet cafes fairly closely. I also majored in psychology, and I remember (and have applied) much of what I have learned regarding mental health. My senior project focused on the diagnosis criteria and treatment methods for mood disorders (Major Depressive Disorder and Bipolar Disorder) in adolescents, with an emphasis on the need for a multimodal framework to better understand and treat these disorders. A prominent point I always make, whether I'm teaching AP Psychology or discussing mental disorders (suicidal ideation, anxiety, depression...) with my friends, family, or co-workers, is how blurry the lines between normality and abnormality can be. In many ways, these lines are culturally defined, and we have cases of misdiagnosis, over or underdiagnosis, and comorbidity (symptoms that apply to multiple disorders) that compound the job of psychiatrists. Then, there are instances when receiving a diagnostic label, which goes on one's health record, and the proceeding treatment plans may, at least in some cases, make a person's situation worse. Diagnostic criteria are supposed to be really clear, but are they really? It depends. If at least five symptoms are required for diagnosis but a person only displays four, does this mean they should be okay? How should we approach treatment if at all? Most importantly, what else can we do to combat the constant negative stigma surrounding mental health?

Furthermore, gaming is already frequently stigmatized due to reported cases of addiction, deaths in internet cafes, and concerned parents (who are usually the ones who bought their children their video games in the first place) who fear that playing video games interferes with their children's academics or other aspects of their lives. Then there are delusional gun enthusiasts who still like to blame school shootings on violent video games rather than on the guns and shooters themselves. Blame the media, the books, the movies, and now the games. Tis' a tale as old as time, dating back to Socrates and Plato when they proposed that poetry and art were unethical due to exciting emotions rather than rationality. Video games are today's modern art form. 
 
Certainly, we cannot deny that there are also those who desperately need and have found help. Having a mental disorder properly diagnosed and treated is absolutely essential to a person's ongoing efforts to attaining a happy and fulfilling life, a goal that can constantly be thwarted due to one's debilitating condition. No one can deny that mental health is a complex issue.

This is why, personally, as a mental health researcher (by hobby, not profession) and avid gamer (also by hobby and not profession), I regard the World Health Organization's inclusion of "Gaming disorder" back in January with ambivalence. The overly general statements on the online Q&A page provide few guidelines for how to ascertain whether a person actually has a "gaming disorder" or is merely really passionate, and some might even say addicted, to a hobby. Let us look again at the WHO's description of gaming disorder (which can be found here):

Gaming disorder is characterized as "a pattern of gaming behavior ('digital-gaming' or 'video-gaming') characterized by impaired control over gaming, increasing priority given to gaming over other activities to the extent that gaming takes precedence over other interests and daily activities, and continuation or escalation of gaming despite the occurrence of negative consequences.

For gaming disorder to be diagnosed, the behaviour pattern must be of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and would normally have been evident for at least 12 months."

How does one judge impairment in personal, family, social, or other areas of functioning? Does quitting school to play video games count? Does every professional/eSports gamer have gaming disorder? Don't people usually give priorities to their hobbies? Where exactly should the lines be drawn? I don't think the WHO knows.

In slight defense of the justification of using labels for mental disorders - though, for the most part, I am an anti-labeling advocate - I understand that people who cannot escape their addictions, whether they be drugs, gambling, or gaming, need to properly address their problems, for things can always become worse. The most crucial distinction between normality and abnormality, the distinction between whether a person has transient depressive symptoms versus actually having clinical depression, is the duration of the symptoms and the extent to which the symptoms cause impairment in everyday functioning. Can't get through the day because of your anxiety, depression, or gaming addiction? Affecting your work, school, or family life to the point of chaos and the inability to manage your life situation? Then, my friend, you might have a problem.

Maybe.